The Nagualist Newsletter and Open Forum / Issue 5 February / March 1995
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Last issue we promised a new column to deal with the spirit. This is the result.

Three day trance.

...I was in the middle of a trance (self-induced). It was a hot West Texas summer day, the sky was clear and blue, except for the spirit!

The spirit stood, floating in the vast sky, watching me. The spirit was not male or female, but pure spirit. I stood to rise, to greet the spirit. As I did, I elevated to where me and this spirit stood face to face in the endless sky.

I began to speak, but I was silenced by the spirit's powerful force. As the spirit looked into my eyes, I was charged with this spirit's power, then the spirit spoke, saying, "Now you have seen, do you believe?"

I awoke from the trance 3 days latter. It seemed like 15 minutes only. I knew I had seen one of the Elder Spirits of the earth, and sky. I still do not exactly know which one though. I do know this- I went into the trance with a very high fever, I had the flu, I awoke completely healed!...

Source: Huntsville, TX

Strange Encounters.

... One find day in '77, I was at the public town library in Putnam, CT, reading this book about Eckankar when some fellow whom I'd never met before came up to me and said: "Don't read that garbage! Read Carlos Castaneda's book!". On that same day I checked out a copy of the one titled Journey to Ixtlan. I was in high school at that time, and I have been an avid reader ever since... I never saw that fellow again..

In the late Summer of '80, I was traveling to New Mexico, by rail, for my first semester at NMHU in Las Vegas. The trip consisted of a stop over in Chicago where I hung around for approximately 8 hours. Then when I was standing in the middle of the lounge, just prior to boarding the train, this Latino guy, who appeared to be in his forties, came up to me and said something about the fact that the light directly above me was flickering and that it was some sort of a sign and that it was his duty to tell me, etc... There were other things said but I have not been able to remember. I do remember that later on we talked about various things, then out of the blue he began to talk about "Carlos' training". I was struck by the usage of the word training. I do remember that I never ever discussed or even admitted reading Carlos' books with anyone, so how did this guy know? Anyhow, he got off the train in a town called La Junta or Lamar in the eastern part of Colorado, and before he left he asked me to come and visit. He showed me a house, which I know isn't in Colorado, where he claimed to live and care for a couple of widows. I had given him a book titled Zen and the Art of Archery by Dr. Herrigel. I had read that particular book because it presented an application of the concept of not-doing.

The act of remembering certainly is a funny affair, all of these things that I have mentioned in this letter regarding the episode in Chicago have not come up in a "linear" fashion. There is still more buried, and hopefully it will all come out one day...

Source: Valencia, CA

Giant Vortex.

... I have been to the mountains at night lying flat on my back and gazing up at the star-filled sky and perceived a giant vortex that seemed to engulf all of reality. The stars, the universe, everything. It was filled with grooves and intricate kaleidoscopic patterns and designs. It seemed to be sucking all of reality in and at the same time churning it out. As I kept gazing at it I became mesmerized by the sight and all remaining thoughts were burned away. Then it somehow seemed to coalesce into a single point in front of me and turned into what I can only describe as the cubic centimeter of chance protruding out inviting me to pluck it. I was filled with the knowledge that this was the chance of all chances, all the luck there is and ever will be. That knowledge also included that it was a matter of life or death and that if I chose to pluck it, I would either succeed or die on the spot. Under such pressure I broke my gaze and turned away. At the time, I knew I was not yet ready to put my life on the line...

Source: Los Angeles, CA
Editor: This reader has never used drugs.

The Dreaming Sun

... For the purpose of clarity, I would like to state I am not now, nor have ever been involved with mind-altering plants or drugs...

... I practiced the techniques and meditations described in the books [Carlos'] along with others I discovered, for years without ever really expecting any results.

One night however, after an exhausting all-day hike in the desert of southern California, I and my companions arrived at my home.

We ate a late dinner and before the rest of them left, they all wanted to listen to some new contemporary jazz albums I had recently purchased, being they were musicians.

After everyone was snugly settled in the comfortable couch and wooden chairs in my room, the music began to play. I lit two candles and turned off the lights to alter the mood.

I listened to the music with no thoughts whatsoever about anything else. About one-half hour went by when it felt my entire thought process had stopped. Giving in fully to the music had made what I had been practicing, over a period of years, that much easier.

Suddenly, I thought I was imagining the music as lines that were coming towards me and from me. Soon that imagination turned into forms and projections I could see quite clearly. I was startled by it, but was able to maintain it unalteringly.

I excitedly told everyone what I was seeing without breaking my concentration, and having quieted their own thoughts, they soon hooked on to the same perception and laughed uproariously at the sensation.

We perceived ourselves riding on the very edge of some musical lines that poured forth from our bodies with each and every note that played.

Then I noticed some sort of crystal-like lights about one-eighth inch in size and triangular in shape begin to form directly under my left eye. Those crystals soon turned into a solid bar of light approximately a full two and a half inches across. For some reason I was calm and that light began to kindle me in some unknown manner and I experienced a splendor of being that is indescribable.

I told one of my companions what I was perceiving and he answered that he was feeling something spinning within him that needed to be released. He moved his index finger in a clockwise circular motion to show me how it was.

I began moving my finger in the same rapid circular motion and began to feel a peculiar sensation in the center of my body.

I perceived it as an intensely bright unearthly light of the same quality of the crystal light I had just seen. It spun and spun like that of a fireworks pinwheel until it literally flew out of my body and apparently out of my companion as well. It was such an ironic feeling of abandon like maybe only an infant or young child would experience that all we could do was laugh out loud.

The rest of my companions were absorbed in their own indescribable experiences when I felt, as well as heard, a "pop", as though some sort of barrier had been broken.

We all looked at one another at the same time and I knew they had experienced the same thing I had.

I began to see many different energetic configurations everywhere in the room. There was some sort of fog and there were some large clear green spheres the size of beach balls floating stationary all around us. I could see lines of energy emanating from one another and clearly felt a gentle wind blowing on me. It seemed I could see into outer space yet the view of the room remained.

As if the turning of a switch, all of us became excited at once and began talking and laughing, trying to point out all we were witnessing and hurriedly trying to describe what it was we were "seeing". Soon the fog receded and all the phenomena receded as well

I was elated. I wanted to have them all stay and converse about this marvelous event, but I suddenly felt very tired and knew everyone else did also. It was as if the event had nearly drained us of all our energy... Many years have passed since then and I have struggled to enhance my awareness to the best of my ability...

...On a recent trip to the San Gabriel Mountains, whatever I had been searching for all these years finally came to a head and changed my life permanently.

That day, I and my companions drove quietly for one hour, not talking at all. We shut off our thoughts in preparation for the hike to a favorite spot of pine forest overlooking the desert floor to the north.

No sooner had we arrived, when I saw a line or filament of pure light right above me for a full second. It was clearly discernible. I told my companions what I had seen and we all hurried to the top to begin our meditations.

We separated some fifteen to twenty-five feet apart from each other and began gazing and scrutinizing the clouds, the trees, rocks, plants and whatever else was in the area.

I walked around a bit then stopped right in front of a full grown pine tree. I shut off my thoughts and began to fix my gaze on the tree without staring. After doing this for about fifteen minutes and without any preamble or warning, my eyes began to cross involuntarily and where the tree stood were now two long thick rope-like lines of pure golden light. I was mesmerized by the sight until quite suddenly I began to hear the thoughts of one of my companions and I turned to face him. He knew what I was experiencing and suddenly we were communicating with each other without words.

We became very involved with this and wanted to explore it further when one of my other companions told us to stop.

His strange rational was that something was happening here and now and we should push past all that nonsense and try to get to the ultimate source of all there is.

I instantly agreed and went right back to gazing fixedly at the pine trees when I noticed some energy crystals of the most intense primary colors forming in the air around me. Then quite abruptly everything changed into white and multi-colored crystals of pure energy.

I stared at the crystal energy with all my might until I somehow began to travel through a corridor made of filaments, grids, patterns and designs of the most perfect order that stretched into infinity. The best way I can describe it is liking it to the movie-Star Trek The Motion Picture. Where Mr. Spock is traveling through some energy corridor in an attempt to contact V-Ger. Although, that description pales in comparison.

If I gazed to the side of me, I would immediately begin traveling into a similar corridor with no end. I no longer felt myself as a human being, but only as a floating, traveling perception.

I somehow let go and traveled down one corridor as far as I could go until I reached an area, a glow where I experienced myself expanding beyond my limits. I became aware that I was leaving life behind and I didn't care. I wanted to expand into that glow and then I "knew". It had been so simple all the time. Suddenly a conscious thought burst in and said "death!" and I found myself standing in the middle of the forest once again. It was as if my body assembled the world once again so it wouldn't die, without any conscious effort on my part. I was back again staring at a world that was familiar and at the same time utterly unknown.

I looked around me and for a brief period I saw my companions and all other living things as luminous energy including the Earth itself. For that moment I saw the Earth as a luminous ball, I experienced it as a fizzing in my body like when one drops an alkaseltzer tablet in water. It was a dazzling sensation for which I have no parallel.

Shortly after, my perception completely synchronized and I completely solidified an objective world once more. I was in a state of utmost euphoria. I had at long last verified something I could only wonder about and read in Carlos Castaneda's books.

I returned home to my work and began noticing a strange detachment that overruled all that I did. It took me all that week to feel somewhat comfortable with it when I realized there was no going back to the way I felt before this experience. The following Saturday completely cemented that change I was feeling.

Upon awakening that one fateful morning, I was astonished by the clamor and bright glare, the many odd shapes and protuberances that were all around me. This was something that I once only knew as furniture, brightness of light, children laughing, playing and all ordinary mundane sights and sounds of the day.

Looking out through the transparent screen that was my window, I saw the morning sun - a dream like vision of an orb in the sky. It felt as though I was seeing it - as I often have - in a half-awake, half-asleep state with my eyes still closed. A radiant light that can only be seen in dreams.

I saw its bright rays of living light bestowing life to this warm beautiful planet. Then, it was no longer the sun, but became a star lost somewhere in eternity, taking the solar system on an endless voyage through the galaxy. The galaxy on an endless journey though the void of space. Then it stopped being a star and became something completely unknown to me. A feeling in my body, a sensation of power and warmth. A jolt of energy to some undefined part of me.

I jumped up from my bed and stared at the strange appendages that were my arms. My fingers, a mass of hilarious quivering tentacles that I could touch objects with. My legs appeared as flexi-stumps on small movable platforms that were my feet.

Then I felt unknown to myself and suddenly I was lost! I did not panic nor was I afraid, all I felt was an overwhelming sense of awe. I no longer knew what anything around me was. It all just became masses of shapes and oscillations, vibrations and sound. I began to "see" the crystal energy once again when I realized I could stop it and I did. I gained a much more manageable view of the world that day, but it will always remain an unfathomable mystery...

In retrospect, I can say quite certainly that it all began falling in place when I fully accepted responsibility for being alive and began putting my life in order. The main point as I have seen it, was and is the eradication of self-importance and any illusions of grandeur one may have...

Source: Los Angeles, CA


...The article "Strange Tales of Power", in Issue #4, really moved me. Since I attended the same workshop at the RIM Institute, this account really brought back memories and some pieces of the weekend I had forgotten. So far no one has mentioned the incredible feat Carol Tiggs demonstrated for the attendees of her lecture at the RIM. She referred to herself as pure intent. The first part of her lecture was this animated prowling accompanied by hilarious stories and remarks. She could abruptly change the mood of her lecture.

After she took us through side splitting laughter, she spoke of the inorganic beings. Then she decided she needed six people from the attendees in the tent. Everyone, and I mean everyone, was holding their breath and hoping with all of their might that they would be picked. Those who were picked for the demonstration were picked because they were "fluid". Carol then stood in front of each person and pulled their arms down. Then she asked them individually to look into her left eye. She said this eye was pure intent. Upon doing so, each one of the six participants became rigid, "stiff as a board". The Chacmools then lowered each person backward to the ground. Each person as they were lowered was completely stiff.

As she did this to each of the six people picked, the rest of the audience was completely silent and entranced with what she was doing. The affect was astounding! She managed to silence a group of one hundred people, completely! She moved our collective assemblage point. What a feat! Also, she seemed to change into completely different people during her performance. At times, she looked completely different from what she did moments before. The tent at night was softly lit and for the most part of the evening I saw a white, amber glow radiating from Carol. I had never seen an aura before, but I knew I was seeing the incredible energy being emitted by this being.

I asked several other participants, the next day, if they saw the glow around Carol and all saw it clearly. Also, I asked one of the six persons who was picked for Carol's demonstration, what he experienced upon looking into her eye. He said that his mind went silent and he was aware of what was going on around him, but he did not know his body was stiff. He said there was something in that left eye that pulled him. Something that created a melancholy happiness in him. Maybe it was intent, maybe it was the Nagual, maybe it was freedom. Whatever it was, Carol Tiggs took everyone there for a brief fly by. We will never be the same, what a relief!

Source: Encinitas, CA

Nagualist Newsletter/ Issue 5 February/ March 1995