The Nagualist Newsletter and Open Forum / Issue 3 Oct./Nov. 1994
Copyright 1994 by Nagualist Newsletter, all rights reserved. Individual submissions by readers and staff of the newsletter are also protected under copyright law. No portion may be reproduced without the written permission of the Nagualist Newsletter and of the individual who made the submission. Additional copies may be available at no charge.

Are you ready to come out of the closet? Here's the way one reader did it.

When I first decided to start recapitulating, I thought that a crate would somehow magically appear in my life. I waited --- but, no, that didn't happen. Then I got the idea of an appliance cardboard box --- which fit most of my requirements: right size, collapsible, can be stored under the bed or in the closet when not in use, easy to obtain. Most appliance stores (see Yellow Pages) have cardboard boxes which they're willing to give away.

My experience has been that it is easier to focus and concentrate in the box. I can't imagine being able to recall past memories and feelings while driving a car, although I know some people who try! Being in the box removes distractions and puts pressure on the energy body. Also, someday, when I feel that some appropriate level of completion has been reached, I look forward to burning the box. Using a box or crate which can be destroyed has this advantage over using a closet or shower (unless you're planning to remodel your house!).

Just recently I have had to examine my level of intention during recapitulation. Although I was going through the motions, I was still hanging-on to those dramas from the past. I am now trying to intend (as someone who knows she is going to die) to really give up my past history.


Editor: We imposed on someone with connections to get the scoop on what to do when your edge is lost to a child. The respondent agreed it was a difficult question and asked for an easier one next time. Here is what this person had to say:

First, I still have my edge and no children. By the way, the first thing Florinda ever wanted to know about me was if I have children. I denied and told her that I'm not intending to change that situation. Her reply: "Very good." Later she told me a story about a person known to her, who had good ideas and intentions that she appreciated very much. But, his big flaw - from her point of view - was that his true intent was to reproduce himself again and again, and that kept him from truly embodying any of his ideas. It wasn't quite friendly what she said about him and his children. What I got from this was that everybody who has or wants children has nothing else in mind but reproducing him or herself by creating a facsimile of themselves. And that seems to be not merely a problem of biological reproduction but also a reason for ushering the child's assemblage point into the Usher's position. A viscious circle.

I don't want to discourage the readers who lost their edges, but to tell you the truth, on the occasions I heard Florinda, Taisha, Carlos and Carol talk about people who have children their tenor was "No chance". But I think this only implies that one has to get one's edge back if one wants to take the path to true freedom. Do recapitulation and take your energy back. Read La Gorda's story in The Second Ring of Power and see what you get from this. And be aware of your own responsibility of all your actions: if you take back your edge your (former) child will be an empty person. Accept your responsibility and go ahead. Act. What do you have to lose since you've already lost the most precious parts of yourselves?

Carlos mentions in the interview with Carmina Fort that one "shouldn't embrace one's children, at least not the front parts of the body." He says that our energy body automatically takes back parts of its own energy. So, could it be that this "shouldn't" can be read as "should" if you intend to get your edge back? I never tried this because there is no need to, but I didn't want to withhold this information from those who might have the need. Again, be aware of your own responsibility. And, there are no guarantees.

Source: Withheld

Editor: Since Carlos had lost his edge, along with la Gorda and don Juan, maybe this "No chance" really means, "No chance you'll do the hard work on your own without someone around to constantly push you." I believe that anyone truly doing the recapitulation stands a chance. Besides, what's the alternative? A lead-lined coffin? Red underwear?


I am female and don't fit the general description of the women readers. I have read every book once (The Art of Dreaming - twice) and intend to read all of them again. I often use them for reference or read entire chapters. I must admit to having trouble getting through The Fire from Within and The Power of Silence. I found the women's books grabbed my attention more and have read them each twice. Like the men, I can probably tell you which event occurred in which book. Also, I intend to send submissions to each issue of the newsletter (I was a bit too slow for the last one). On the mailing list [Ixtlan] I find that men have a strong need to endlessly discuss, argue, and explain all the abstract concepts. Men discuss it. Women do it.

As a middle-aged, open-minded woman in search of purpose and meaning, I was more than ready for a new perception of the world when I began reading the books two years ago. I read the first eight of Carlos', then Taisha's and Florinda's - one after the other - in about 7 months. Of course, it helped tremendously that I could ask questions of someone who had read and studied them as each was published.

I am a serious Nagualist and my life and goals have completely changed since being exposed to this path. Although I want to and work hard on dreaming, I've found (to my amazement) that I am a stalker. I can't say that I take everything in the books as fact, but I've found that it really doesn't matter. I know this is the path I was intended to take.

I focus more on saving and gathering energy than anything else. Everything I work on is for that purpose and the purpose of my gaining the energy is to use it for dreaming and for seeing. I recently began recapitulating. I use stalking to rid myself of self-importance, to meet the challenge of petty tyrants, to see my job as a sorcery task and not a drudgery. I can stop my internal dialogue, but not easily, and I try to remember to use death as an advisor. I'm also stalking my "wimpiness" because this is not a path for cowards, as, unfortunately, most women are.

Nagualist Newsletter and Open Forum / Issue 3 Oct./Nov. 1994