Florinda Donner-Grau Chronology Part IX [Jan. - June 1996]
[January 30, 1996 - Two statements from Cleargreen issued on the Cleargreen website, then run by Garrett W. Griggs. The first further described the monthly journal; the second, signed by Castaneda, emphasized the doing of Tensegrity and tried to discourage "the collecting of data about Castaneda, his books, his lectures, his personal data." The message seemed to be responding to posts on the two Internet mailing lists in the preceding months about Castaneda’s birthdate and pictures.]
[February 16, 1996 - Cleargreen website announces Castaneda can no longer give lectures outside of Los Angeles, which don Juan assertedly told him was his "center of energy and activity." Ominous in tone, it warned, "He drew a message for you from total inner silence in Mexico City and in Oakland, but in doing so, he dispersed his energy, nearly uncontainably." It also said that Carol Tiggs would "take over for the next workshop" in Oakland.]
March 1-3, 1996 - Women-only workshop on "The Female Energy Body," at UCLA. Carol, Taisha, Florinda, Castaneda and Nury all spoke.
Florinda described how don Juan used to tell her go outside and "offer your pussy to the wind." She claimed don Juan told Old Florinda to "show me her pussy, which she did." Then don Juan showed her his penis and she thought it was the biggest one she'd ever seen. [Another poignant episode omitted from Being-in-Dreaming.] Don Juan made a sexual gesture at her which horrified her, but Old Florinda told her not to worry because "it hadn't worked since 1934." Old Florinda said "don Juan claimed it was 1937, but she knew for a fact that it was 1934 . . . on a Saturday . . . at 3:00." Old Florinda supposedly took Florinda out to the courtyard and had her take her panties off, lift her dress and lie exposed for the "wind," or abstract force. So Florinda, lying there, falls asleep. Next thing she knows, she's "being fucked." She starts screaming and yelling, thinking "it’s one of those ‘Mexicans!?quot;
Don Juan supposedly told her she should never wear panties, but Florinda asked, "What about discharge?" Don Juan allegedly claimed "all those female complaints are because women only use their womb for one function," and that "the womb is ill because of not using its second function." Florinda advised that women should "not fight it if the abstract force tries to penetrate you."
March? 1996 - An article by Marie-Therese De Brosses is published in Paris Match entitled, "J’ai vu naitre une Secte" The writer had attended the December ?5 Anaheim workshop, and the theme of her piece was that a new cult was forming. [Castaneda mentioned this piece indignantly a few times in Sunday and night sessions.]
? 1996 - Workshop tentatively scheduled for Paris was canceled, assertedly "due to some legal complications concerning insurance and taxes."
Replica Watches Replica Watches
April 19-21, 1996 - Second Oakland Workshop, at the Oakland Convention Center. Florinda lectured the first night, Taisha Saturday night, and Carol Sunday morning.
Florinda claimed that for many years Castaneda had a copy of don Juan's birth certificate. He had done something for don Juan that required the certificate, and don Juan had told him to keep it, remarking that he could "really surprise people some day" by identifying who don Juan really was. But after a number of years, Castaneda burned the certificate. Don Juan's party was said to be delighted with this act, and Florinda claimed that this was the moment when Castaneda "ceased to be an anthropologist."
Florinda said that her father was a military man. She grew up with two brothers who were "taller, stronger and louder than I was. But I learned to assert myself." When the brothers jumped in the river, she also jumped. Later, she learned "to take money for everything." In this way, she claimed, she "became terribly authoritarian." She asserted that she had tried to continue like this after having entered into the world of the sorcerers. She claimed that don Juan had changed her. "I used to be a tyrant. Now I’m just bossy."
Florinda claimed that don Juan had asked her to "find out about intent for him." At first she laughed, but he gave her what she thought was a very good reason for doing this "research," and that was that "Carlos is very concerned about intent and intentionality." Florinda had the sense that "this old Indian" wanted to bone up on the philosophical concepts that Castaneda was interested in. So she spent months reading and going to all the professors of sociology and philosophy at UCLA to learn "everything I could about intent, intentionality and phenomenology." She then felt "well prepared to lecture don Juan for hours on the subject." But he wasn't interested in hearing her lecture. She asked him why he had made her go through all this work, and he responded, "Why do you want to be a stupid cunt all your life?"
This was very shocking to her, since no one--man or woman--had ever used that term to refer to her before. Later, "when I reached total inner silence," a woman's voice asked her the same thing?quot;in German!" ("Warum willst du dein ganzes Leben eine dumme Fotze bleiben, wenn du dich ändern kannst?") She claimed this slang term was at least as bad, if not worse, in German.
Don Juan also told her she should open her "cunt" up to "the wind." She didn't like the word, but didn't like "vagina" either--"it's too Latin." So he suggested a nicer word: "How about pussy?"
The first time she experienced "the wind," Old Florinda supposedly told her to take off her panties and sit outside. Florinda experienced it, but went to sleep right away. When she woke up, she felt this weight on top of her and an object penetrating her vagina. She was sure that "one of the old Indians" was violating her, but they weren't?quot;it was ‘the wind.?quot;
The second time, Old Florinda and don Juan took Florinda up a hill where she had to take off all her clothes and wait. Don Juan and Old Florinda were to meet her at the bottom of the hill with her clothes. Since she had fallen asleep the first time, this time she was determined to "stay awake and find out what happened." Suddenly "all this anger started coming up" in her about different "tricks" they had pulled on her, and she became convinced this was another one. She became so enraged she "started running down the hill to tell them off once and for all." As she was running, she felt the wind enter her, so that when she approached them she yelled that she'd been "raped" by the wind. Old Florinda told her she was an "asshole." She told her that, like Florinda, she had experienced it on the first try, but said that she had enjoyed it. Don Juan supposedly claimed that if he had a womb he would be "doing it all day and all night." Florinda claimed she told him that if he did have a womb, he might think differently about it.
Once she assertedly said to don Juan: "You are a dirty old man!" Don Juan answered: "I am dirty and I am old, but I am not a dirty old man."
Florinda also explained that, for sorcerers, it is a "defeat" to leave alone. They want to go with a group. She was asked about Old Florinda going alone and responded that, yes, she did, but that the reason she hadn’t gone with don Juan's party is that she had wanted to store up extra energy to try to catch up with her original party, led by the Nagual Julian. Zuleica had stated that the two of them (old Florinda and Zuleica) had stayed behind "to help the new nagual on his way."
Each of the sorcerers in their current group, she asserted, would be capable to burn from the fire of within alone. But this "would be a failure for the sorcerer, because he will be solitary."
Florinda asserted that "not only the uterus but every organ of the human being has a second function which is hidden by our socialization." She also claimed that a woman whose uterus has been extracted has to work like a man to reach inner silence--"she has to use the totality of her self." Thanks to the uterus, it is easier for a woman to reach this state, but once a man has arrived at this point he will be even more powerful than a woman.
Someone asked about Castaneda’s health. She explained that he was supposed to stay in his "center of well being," which is Los Angeles, but that he had gone to Mexico to do a workshop and then come up to Oakland to do a workshop. After that he became seriously sick. Despite the fact that he had assertedly "jumped grooves" numerous times, he became so energy depleted that he couldn't jump grooves. What happened was that a doctor "appeared"—she claimed they hadn't called for the doctor--and that this doctor had to "go to where we were" to treat Castaneda. In other words, the doctor allegedly couldn't treat Castaneda using standard medical procedures. When Castaneda gets that sick, Florinda claimed, he would "make the leap by himself instead of staying here with no vitality." But he had "made this promise to intent that he would take all of us when he left," so he "got better so that he could do that."
She distinguished don Juan's group from theirs by saying that don Juan's "had a lot more mass--there were 16 of them." Don Juan's group also had the purpose of training others to continue their lineage. "But the five of us don't have that mass." [People were surprised when she said "five," but the fifth, we gathered from her next statement, was the so-called Blue Scout.] She said that the Blue Scout is very talented and can just "go off" in an instant.
She was later asked to clarify why she said five. She responded, "Oh, did I say five?" Then she looked down at the group in the first two rows and said, "Well, you count." She then explained that the "five" were the "basic group, the students of don Juan."
Some guy commented, "You had someone training you, I don't have that. What if I'm doing the Tensegrity and something happens? I don't want to see a 14-foot inorganic." Florinda replied, "You poor baby. You don't have a teacher." She explained that the workshops "are an unfolding of intent." She explained that, at first, they just lectured and "thought that would be it. Now we are doing these workshops." People ask, "When is the next workshop? Can you tell me the schedule?" But it's "very weird" for them to have "a week in July on the schedule, because we don't even know if we're going to be here."
A question was asked about the ideal conditions in the Witches' house in Mexico. She said that such ideal conditions are "not good in the long run." She herself wanted to stay there, she claimed, but the sorcerers sent her back to Los Angeles to accomplish her tasks.
She was asked more sex questions: "What is it about the sex act that is bad for energy?" She said that she had been hearing that some of the people who were at the August workshop had been doing the movements, recapitulating, and still had "a boyfriend or girlfriend or are married, and they intensely want to have sex." She said, "If you are obsessing about it, you should probably just do it." You shouldn't be obsessing about it. But it was not a matter of morality. "Celibacy is more of a religious concept. Sorcerers aren't celibate in that sense. They just have a different attitude about it. Sex [for sorcerers] is divorced from the social order. It's not about power, control and manipulation for them." For sorcerers, "sex isn't about ‘luuuv.?quot; She claimed she was not "in the situation of having to please a boyfriend, husband or lover. The problem with sex is more all the things that accompany the sex act rather than the act itself."
She was asked about losing "the edge" to children. She said "that's true, especially with the first child, who takes the bulk of the edge, but you just have to work harder. It's hard work anyway. It's not that big a deal."
A woman asked a question about near-death experiences and whether people who have had them and later write about them are describing entering into the Inorganic Beings' world. Florinda said she thought that it was "entirely possible," but explained that she hadn't had a near death experience, and that "all I know is what it is like to enter the Inorganic Beings' world." She also mentioned the Tibetan Book of the Dead as another possible description, "in particular cultural terms, of entering that world," but claimed she didn't know very much about it.
Florinda was asked if there were other ways to enter the Inorganic Beings' realm, since she had said that "through silence was one way," and that that was a very natural way for women. She responded that another way, as described in The Art of Dreaming, is having enough energy to follow a scout. "Burning with the fire from within is another way."
At the end, someone asked, "What's the rule of the three-pronged Nagual?" Florinda first joked that it was "to make the witches happy." Then she said that it was "to fulfill his promise to intent to take us all with him, so we could all go together."
Asked about Castaneda’s health, Carol said, "Our brother Carlos could not join us because he is battling an infection. We do not know the nature of his illness. A sorcerer cannot avail himself of traditional medicine; he must rely on the spirit, and on his own resources. Before a sorcerer reaches the threshold where his body no longer functions, he will choose, if he can, to kindle the awareness of his entire being, in order to leave this world intact and whole. And our brother Carlos has made a promise to include us in that final act. But we do not know if this is the time of his leaving." Taisha said that while Florinda had said the preceding night that there were "just five or ten of them, who made up the group, who would be going," as a result of "the movement" that Taisha had seen there--"the change"--her feeling was that she was "opening it up to the possibility that more of you could go with us." The cost of this workshop was $300, and about 450 attended. The workshop is also described in the Sept. 1997 article in The Sun.
April 1996 - According to Cleargreen payroll records for the month filed as part of C.J. Castaneda’s motion in the probate proceeding in 1999, Florinda, Taisha, Muni and Tycho each received a salary for the April ?6 workshop of $2,727.58. Castaneda received a salary of $4,567.61. Kylie, Renata, Nyei, Darien, Erin, Fabricio, Grant and Talia each received a workshop salary of $1,238.26. Rosa, Margarita, Brandon, Michelle and Ellis each received a salary of $569.08.
Go to Florinda Donner-Grau Chronology part X